


Robo Boggie

by BagtheBagisnotaBag



Series: Robo Boggie [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Clothed Sex, Embedded Images, Established Relationship, Flirting, Frottage, Jokes, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Other, Outdoor Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn Video, Robot Sex, Sex Robots, Sex Toys, Smut, The Distant Future, The Year 2000, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 06:45:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15791130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BagtheBagisnotaBag/pseuds/BagtheBagisnotaBag
Summary: You are Dirk Strider and you sit down at your desk, ready to spend a couple hours waking yourself up at - holy shit does that say ‘Fuck Mode Activated.’? When the hell did that happen!? You only vaguely recall adding that particular protocol into Brobot.You play the recorded video. Jake is straddling Brobot who is a flat slap of robot beneath him, hovering over his fake dick and god. Now that you can see it, the dick is way too big. Why did you make it that big, what were you thinking? Jake adjusts the camera then grins down at it. “Now we’re cooking with motor oil!"





	Robo Boggie

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jakebot_Archive](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jakebot_Archive/gifts), [catchingtheblues](https://archiveofourown.org/users/catchingtheblues/gifts).



You wander over to the computer, clutching your morning cup of orange juice. All the machine needs is a jiggle of the mouse for it to fade back online. You sit down at your desk, ready to spend a couple hours waking yourself up at- holy shit does that say ‘Fuck Mode Activated.’? When the hell did that happen!? You only vaguely recall adding that particular protocol into Brobot in the early stages of development. 

[](https://www.flickr.com/gp/158984122@N05/pza4Sm)

‘Fuck Mode’ as you called it triggers a variety of sex-based programs which causes Brobot to devolve into a… horny robot. A fuck machine, if you will. And who are you kidding? Your memory of designing that function is as sharp as ever. You knew exactly what you were doing when you added a penis to your robo-clone and presented it to Jake. You just never thought this day would come.

Also why the hell would Jake say ‘anal fisting’ in front of Brobot. ‘Anal fisting’ just so happens to be the trigger word that causes ‘Fuck Mode’ to activate. You sit there with one hand smooshing your face and your mind moving a mile a minute. 

You have to watch the tape. There is no other way around it. You know you shouldn’t but you just can’t _not_ watch the tape. It’s not like Jake doesn’t _know_ you record through Brobot’s shades. That’s one of the features you _did_ explain to him, unlike ‘Fuck Mode’.

You lean forward and grip the desk. The alert was set off in the early hours of the morning while you were asleep. Whatever happened, even if nothing did, it’s well over by now.

There’s nothing else to it. You click through to the video file and hit play.

It’s dark out and Brobot slides through the trees, a blur. The crashing of waves and the cacophony of restless wildlife can be heard in the background. You fast forward a few minutes, getting closer to the time Jake triggered Brobots hornydrive. The landscape flashes past as Brobot patrols at triple speed, and the sky lightens with the rising sun. 

You are tense. The anticipation is killing you. Your hand rests sweaty on the mouse as the view speeds through scenes of sea and shrub. And then… there! You pause it. Jake is silhouetted in the distance, his pistols drawn and pointed at Brobot. The frame catches his shirt billowing open in the oceanic winds, the light glinting off one of his guns, and a cocky smirk on his mug. You change the play speed back to linear time and hit play. 

The *bang*, *bang* of Jake’s guns being fired can be heard as Brobot rolls to the side and is up on his feet again in a flash. The scene flashes around faster than the camera can handle. You catch glimpses of Jake as Brobot evades, doing cool flips and shit and generally making it hard for you to see what the fuck is going on. 

Brobot gets close enough that Jake has to resort to hand to hand. Even after all this time, after the game and everything, Jake still can’t get one up on the old robot. 

Staticky audio filters through the thuds of battle. “Get off you great fiend! You will never defeat me! Urgh!” Jake strains and you can see clearly the way his biceps flex and his pec’s bulge in his tight shirt. Jake grunts and pushes upwards, heaving the robot up and off of him. The view of ground and sky flashes past in one big blur as Brobot does a sick flip and faces Jake again. 

There's a ping as a bullet ricochets off Brobot’s metal casing. “Take that, Brobot! There is only more where that came from. You have bested me for that last time! Today is my turn to win our annual fisticuffs!” The camera goes shock still for the first time since you started watching. Goddamit, ‘annual fisticuffs’? Is that what set it off? You didn’t even think of that. You just thought ‘anal fisting’ wasn’t something Jake would ever say in the midst of fighting Brobot.

“Uhh. Good chum?” Jake looks confused but is still standing at the defensive. “I didn’t actually injure you did I?” He shuffles closer to the robot, still on guard. “Dang blast-it I might need to call Dirk on this.”

You check your pesterchum. There was no notification from Jake. You have a semi in your pants.

The video continues. “Holy Shitballs!” Jake jumps back. “Where the blast did that come from!” A fierce blush washes up his face. You don’t even have to see to know what just happened. When ‘Fuck Mode’ is activated the first thing Brobot does is shut down all fighting instincts, his main operation changes from beating the everliving shit out of Jake to taking orders. Then the fake dick is deployed. 

That was a tricky little piece of machinery to get working. You mostly remember snickering to yourself as you installed it all those years ago. 

Jake is looking apprehensively at Brobot, stammering too quietly for the mic to pick up. He slips his guns back in their holders and turns away. You see him get his phone out and start typing but then instead he turns back to Brobot. He freezes, his eyes fixed downward. There is an obvious tent in his shorts. 

The sight sends a jolt through you. Is he actually getting off on this? Holy shit. You don’t know what to do with this information. Your own dick is really showing an interest now in the proceedings. You watch in still silence as Jake puts his phone away and steps closer. His hand reaches tentatively down. His eyes are fixed on Brobot’s crotch and his reach disappears below the scope of the camera. Holy fucking shit. Is he touching Brobot's dick?

“Oh.” He says. 

You are in agony. You press down on your dick through your pants and stare hard at the screen. 

Jake fumbles for a few seconds, his hand moving up and down, his shoulder jiggling before he startles again and steps back. The flush to his checks has not left and the tent he is sporting has only grown. “Where in all of skia did that come from?” his voice is quiet, nothing like his exuberant shouting from the fight earlier. He coughs, “Can you hear me Brobot?” Brobot does nothing. He cannot reply. Jake reaches down absently to squeeze his dick once then speaks again. “Hog swallow, I know there are some commands I can use. What did Dirk tell me?” 

You jolt at your name. But past Jake continues. “Brobot, step back.” The camera moves back one step, then stops again. “Ha ha! It worked. OK. Brobot… Fuck what should I say? Dirk would know what commands he programmed into this thing.” He pulls his phone out again then immediately puts it away, glancing up at Brobot again. “Better to experiment, I wouldn’t want to wake the lad.” And then he looks straight into the camera and fucking winks. 

You feel very exposed, sitting there at your desk, sporting a raging stiffy. 

“Right! Let’s get to it then!” He metaphorically hikes up his pants and suddenly his serious face is on. “Brobot, sit.” The camera is very suddenly at Jakes crotch level. Your dick twitches up against the confines of your pants. 

Jake starts pulling his belt off. You can feel the seconds stretching out as he pulls it through the loops, your eyes flicker between the movements of his hands and the large bulge in his tight shorts. You think his dick just twitched. He squeezes it through the material, grunting slightly at that first touch. 

And then all at once, he is fishing his dick out of his pants right in front of the camera. It is shiny with moisture at the tip, the head red and swollen and right up and close on your screen. Jake strokes the foreskin back and forth a few times and then lets it just hang there, jutting out from the top of his shorts at an impudent angle. 

You press down on your own dick and fucking shiver at even that slight sensation. You are so Fucking hard in your jorts. It hurts where they are all pressed up against the seams. You fumble, eyes still attached to the screen, and undo the zip enough for your dick to get some relief. 

Jake kneels down over Brobot, pushing him back into the grass as he goes. You get an angle of the sky for a second and your gut sinks. Do you not get to watch? Jakes' voice comes through the speakers again. “Fuck, shit.” The camera is covered by his hand and the mic is jolted around. But a few seconds later the camera feed comes back and-.

Jake is an angel on this festering hell of an earth. You love him so fucking much holy hell.

He has propped the shades up somewhere so you have a wide angled view of everything. Jake is straddling Brobot who is a flat slap of robot beneath him, hovering over his fake dick and god. Now that you can see it, the dick is way too big. Why did you make it that big, what were you thinking? Jake adjusts the camera then grins down at it. “Now we’re cooking with motor oil! Absolutely smashing.” 

Jake doesn’t waste any time, he sits down on Brobot’s legs behind the robo-dick, bumping his own flushed member up against it as he does. You squeeze yourself through your boxers and lean forward. A drop of Jake’s precum clings to Brobot’s prosthetic dick as Jake positions himself. Jake braces himself on Brobot’s chest, leaning over him, their dicks pressed together. 

You squeeze yourself again, unable to stop. You can feel a wet patch on the front of your boxers and no wonder, this is hot as hell. Jake humps forward, his dick sliding against Brobot’s and his plump ass jutting up into the air. 

That is all you can take. You hand goes into your pants and finally, you are gripping yourself properly. Jake swears just as you do, deep and lust-crazed. “Fuuuk. How do I work this thing? Brobot, vib- oh, fuck.” He pants, breathless, and starts rutting faster. “Brobot, vibrate.” 

You start jerking yourself in your boxers, your hand brushing up against the tight fabric. You can see the exact moment the vibration kicks on. Jake clutches at Brobot and stops his humping. The two of them take on a slightly fuzzy quality - Brobot's vibrating so much that you can see it. The moan Jake lets out is loud and you can’t stop yourself from joining him. 

Your mind flashes back to when you made Brobot, back to when you designed his extendable dick. It’s made of silicone and has its own vibration rod inside it. But when Jake said vibrate he didn’t specify where. Brobot’s whole chassis was shaking under Jake. Only the tip of Jake’s penis was peeking out from under his hip but even that sight was enough to make you hot as hell. 

Jake was moaning almost constantly now as he just rode the waves of pleasure. You were sure he was expressing pleasure. From the way his face was slack with lust and the flush up his neck, from the way he was pressed up against Brobot, and from the sounds coming out of him, it could be nothing but pure ecstasy. 

You were slowly approaching the same ecstasy. Your hips jerked up into your fist as you moved it tightly over your dick. Jake let out a whoreish moan and shifted his head towards the camera, facing you. His eyes were squeezed closed. His knuckles were going white where they gripped at Brobot who had not let up his vibrations. Your hand felt so fucking good. You were close.

Suddenly Jakes moans changed in pitched, angling higher. You could see the muscles in his legs tense, his face pressed into Brobot’s shoulder and then his dick was spurting out white onto the grass. 

Your grip sped up, tightening as you got closer to the edge. Your heart was racing fast in your chest and suddenly the feeling crested and you were coming in your boxers. Your eyes rolled back in your skull and distantly you heard Jake say “Stop, stop,” in the most desperate voice you had ever heard. You jerked, once, twice, again, and again. 

Then calm. You stilled your hand. 

Your eyes were still closed. You could hear your own breathing and the breathing of Jake through the computer. You could hear the sound of the ocean and distant bird calls. 

Your heart settled. You settled. You went lax in your chair. 

When you blinked open your eyes Jake was still on screen, looking into the camera with the most peaceful, satisfied expression on his face. 

“I’ll see you for lunch.” He said and then he was getting up, leaving you to the view of a still Brobot with his dick sticking up in the air, still stuck in ‘Fuck Mode’. 

Your head thunked back against the chair and you heaved out another breath. 

Jake English, that kinky bastard.

You're going to fuck him after lunch.

**Author's Note:**

> "You are so Fucking hard in your jorts." is the best sentence i have ever written. and thats all i have to say on the matter


End file.
